vote to abort or to give birth

trigger warning: abortion, despicable humanity

No really, you didn't read that title wrong; it's what one couple is doing on a site you can find if you so choose to google it: they're asking you to vote on whether or not they should abort her pregnancy or carry it to term.

And there's where it all falls down for me.

The poll question reads: Should we give birth or have an abortion?

Answers: Give birth; Have an abortion.

There is no answer for: 'being pro-choice means that I respect your right to your autonomy and this decision should rest entirely with you'.

Because that is what being pro-choice means. Pro-choice does not mean voting for her to have an abortion simply because you believe that is her choice to make. The couple said they were considering abortion because she had been through three painful miscarriages already and collectively, they weren't sure if they were emotionally ready to have a child. Damn, y'all, that's some fucking personal shite they've got going on. But putting it up to a vote on the internet? I am not at all surprised that 80% of the vote is swinging towards 'give birth' and that several of those voters have emailed expressing interest in adopting the child if the vote and/or their decision is 'have an abortion'. Why? Because I would think there are several pro-choice people out there similarly not voting because we understand this is a personal choice. It's the pro-life crowd that views every birth as a victory - but it's not as if the pro-choice crowd views an abortion as a victory. We view the choice itself as a victory. And that is the MOST IMPORTANT thing to consider when discussing pro-life and pro-choice and who has a baby and who has an abortion and who gets to decide.

The couple go on to say 'The whole point here is to let people have a real way to voice your opinion on the topic of abortion and have it actually make a difference in the real world' which isn't exactly true. As long as the option of a choice is there, then my opinion already has an impact on the real world. When you create an environment in which that choice is no longer there and there is a woman in that environment who wishes to make the choice to have an abortion - then, and ONLY then will my vote to impact 'give birth' or 'have an abortion' make a difference in the real world. And even then, my opinion/vote will be for 'let her make that CHOICE for herself'.

'By voting on whether to continue or abort an actual pregnancy, you are doing so much more then simply telling an elected representative your feelings. You are actually changing something in the real world.' Again, THEY'RE MISSING THE POINT. No-one is telling this woman she cannot have an abortion. Therefore, there's nothing for me to vote on. I can't vote on her choice - I can only encourage my elected representatives to CONTINUE TO ALLOW WOMEN TO MAKE THAT CHOICE FOR THEMSELVES.

There's nothing for me to vote on here. There's no change I can make on the real world. The change has already been made, in 1973, with a court case called Roe v Wade, which legalised abortion in the United States. Someone else VOTED for HER, and all WOMEN, a long time ago, before I was born. And there are a lot of places here in these United States where that vote doesn't hold as much weight as it does where this couple seems to live. So if I'm going to make any vote in the matter whatsoever, it's going to be for legislatures who will uphold Roe and the CHOICE that Roe represents.

That couple gets to make their own choice on her pregnancy. That's not a choice I - nor the collective voices of the internet - should be making for her.